


Heartbreak Kids

by OutOfTheEquation



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, How Do I Tag, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I will probably add more tags as I go, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, a little bit of jily, awkward first kiss, unedited, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-18 11:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4704842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OutOfTheEquation/pseuds/OutOfTheEquation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus wakes up after a bad full moon to find Sirius sleeping at his bedside, exhausted after staying up all night worrying about him, sparking feelings between the two they never expected and fuelling long arguments between friends.</p><p>Follows the blooming romance between Remus and Sirius from mid-fifth year, with a sprinkle of marauder-y goodness, the Order and Jily on the side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: None of these characters are owned by me (unless they are OCs, in which case they are mine). All are owned by J. K. Rowling (much to my disappointment).
> 
> I hope you like it, I'm not really familiar with writing romance fics, but these guys are my OTP and it just wanted to be written. If you have any suggestions or comments, it would be greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism is also always appreciated.
> 
> Ratings and archive warnings may change as the fic progresses. Do note that while smut may be hinted at or brushed over, it is unlikely to ever actually be described, and it is even more unlikely that this will be done explicitly.

Remus blinked as he slowly regained consciousness, the hair in his eyes only slightly reducing the harshness of the light in the hospital wing. He tried to sit up, but something heavy landed on his chest, stopping him. He blinked again, his eyes starting to focus properly, and he looked down at the heavy thing, barely able to think straight yet. A big, black thing pinned him down against the bed, and as his eyes began to focus properly, he noted that it was furred. Following the leg, he found himself looking straight into the eyes of a rather large black dog that was taking up half of the bed space, and found himself wondering if the dog looked more amused or worried. He turned to look over the side, and was suddenly thankful to see that his two other friends at least had more sense than the dog, and were quite definitely human.

“Sirius, get off me, and stay human. Merlin knows what Professor McGonagall would do to you if you get caught.” The dog barked once before leaping off the bed, falling out of Remus’ line of sight. A head of dark hair reannounced Sirius’ presence as he stood up, casually dusting off his robe.

“You got hurt pretty bad, Moony, we were worried about you. See, we even sacrificed our dinner to bring you some!” Sirius said, gesturing to the bedside table.

“Awww, how sweet. Please remove him, James,” Remus replied, rolling his eyes at the boy with the unruly mess of hair standing next to the bed, looking like he was enjoying their bickering.

“Anything for you, my dearest Moony!” James called out loudly, proceeding to try to shove Sirius away from the bed, while Sirius complained indignantly that Moony was his.

“Sometimes I wonder why we even put up with them,” Remus muttered to the short, rotund boy standing at his side, watching the events.

“Oh come on, Remus, they aren’t that bad.”

“Easy for you to say. They don’t call you ‘Moony’ all the time, and fuss about you every single month for three days straight.”

“They call me Wormtail,” Peter replied, a slight grin on his face.

Remus sighed, sitting up slowly and eventually getting up, ignoring the burning pain in his left shoulder and a pounding headache. He hobbled over to the two fighting boys who were now shouting challenges at each other and grabbed each one by the scruff, splitting them apart and holding them there with a strong grip, enhanced by the boys greatest secret.

“Moony, tell this idiot Prongs that you’re my Moony and Prongs should shove off, he already has claim rights on Lily and Peter.”

“Moony, please tell the overdramatic Messr Padfoot that if he even looks at Lily he will be murdered in his sleep.”

“Remus, tell Padfoot that Prongs does not own me, and tell Prongs that he should have defended me against that accusation.”

“Shut up, Peter, I definitely own you,” Jame replied.

Remus sighed quietly, letting his shoulder slump before pulling himself to his full height, towering over Sirius and Peter and even James a little.

“If you guys don’t stop bickering for just one moment I will personally find your stash of dungbombs and hand them over to McGonagall myself,” he said as threateningly as he could manage.

A door creaked open, and James and Sirius instantly dived under Remus’ hospital bed, Peter joining them soon after with a squeak.

“Remus! What are you doing out of bed!” the yell would have probably scared off anyone else, but Remus stood his ground, too used to Madam Pomfrey to be intimidated by her. She seemed to have a soft spot for the werewolf.

“I’m fine, Madam Pomfrey. Can I please leave the hospital wing?” he made an effort to send her his best pleading look, and it wasn’t long before she relented.

“You can go back to your dorm tonight, but only tonight. I’ll get your troublesome friends to come help you up. I need to perform some final tests before you can go, so please get back in bed and stay there until it’s time to go.”

Remus nodded diligently and climbed back into the bed. The matron went off into a corner, beginning to fuss over a shelf of potions, and Remus hung a leg over the edge she was standing at, notifying the three boys under the bed where to sprint to, and was not surprised when a tiny rat sprinted out the door, followed by a giant black dog who was relatively light-footed despite it’s size and a boy with unruly hair, who almost ran into a bed as he made his escape.

* * *

In the end, it was Lily who came down to help him. Remus was on alright terms with the victim of James’ affections - she was good to discuss books with, even if she enjoyed expressing her dislike of the unruly boy almost as much, and often argued with him. It had earned Remus a few threats from James, but he wasn’t worried. Not now that James knew his second biggest secret.

Remus stumbled into the room he shared with his three best friends, and had even more reason to fall over as Sirius knocked him over in his eagerness to greet the injured boy.

“Moony, I missed you!” Sirius exclaimed loudly.

“You haven’t seen me for a grand total of three hours,” Remus replied, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“But they were long hours, polishing the trophies!” the dark haired boy replied indignantly.

Remus regarded him with a mixture of amusement, affection, and tiredness.

“Sirius, maybe we should let him sleep,” Peter called from the other side of the room.

“Oh, my saviour!” Remus exclaimed in the same fashion they were used to hearing from Sirius, sending James into a coughing fit.

Sirius let go, albeit reluctantly, and Remus instantly crawled into bed, only to have Sirius crawl in beside him.

“Get out.”

“Your bed is incredibly comfortable. I’m staying.”

“Forbidden things are usually a lot sweeter than normal. This bed is definitely forbidden. Get off.”

“Make me.”

Remus flipped over to face the other boy and bodily shoved him onto the floor, only to roll back over, drawing his blanket close. He heard Sirius stand up and start moving back towards his bed, followed by a large thump as he was probably flattened by James.

“Mate, what’s gotten into you? You do remember the full moon was yesterday!” Remus heard the taller-than-Sirius-but-not-taller-than-him boy hiss, and was almost pleased when Sirius replied in a much more subdued tone that he had forgotten, followed by an apology that Remus sleepily accepted, a second before he fell into a deep sleep.

Sirius watched as the tall boy fell asleep, too tired to care that one long, thin leg was dangling out of the covers, only half covered in the pants that he always wore. The boy made his way around the bed, wincing at the scars visible on Remus’ leg as he walked past.

“You care about him.”

It was a statement, not a question, but Sirius still nodded slightly in reply to his partner in crime, “we all do.”

James sighed, shaking his head with a small smile on his face that said he knew something that Sirius didn't as he sat down on his bed, yawning. He threw a sideways glance first at Sirius, and then the sleeping boy, but when he spoke it was only to announce that he was going to bed, the world be damned, and began sleeping the sleep of a man who wouldn’t wake up if a fire were raging right outside his door.

Sirius turned to look at Peter, expecting him to be awake, but the rat was also fast asleep, making the dog animagus the last one awake. With a quiet sigh he stood up and snuck over to James’ trunk, pinching the invisibility cloak they had forgotten to take to the hospital wing and wrapping it around himself before leaving the room with a quiet swish that continued to follow him as he left the Gryffindor common room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was ok! If you liked it, please let me know by leaving a kudos or a comment! The more kudos/comments I get, the more I'll be motivated to update, the quicker I'll update - you can set off a chain reaction, see? :)


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius' tongue stuck out slightly as the black-haired boy stared intently at the muggle puzzle Remus had been trying to solve for the past hour, draped over both Remus' and James' laps. Remus watched him, his eyes twinkling slightly in amusement as deft fingers began running over the puzzle, only to have the amusement fade when the other boy pulled the three pieces apart in rapid succession, handing them over to Remus.

"How did you do that."

"It was quite easy, actually, you just..." Sirius began, but Remus quickly covered his mouth with one hand, eyes flashing.

"Don't. Tell. Me."

"Well sorry,  Messr  Moony, for not reading in  between the lines of your  colloquialisms."

"It may be that  the esteemed  Messr Padfoot should begin  to do so ."

"And what if the gallant and noble Messr Padfoot does not wish to?"

"Then the ugly loaf that is Messr Padfoot will remain illiterate to the colloquialisms  Messr  Moony chooses to vocalize daily."

"Guys, you're giving me a headache with the posh speak," Peter muttered from where he was sitting, not looking up from an essay he was finishing last-minute.

"Perchance it is necessary to introduce Messr Wormtail to the level of sophistication we have achieved. D o you concur,  Messr  Moony? "

"Messr Prongs would like to cut in and inform Messrs Moony and Padfoot that their so-called sophisticated language really needs to stop. Where did you even learn those words, Sirius?! Did you accidentally swallow a dictionary?!"

" Messr  Moony would like to remind Messr Prongs that Miss Evans enjoys sophisticated language."

" I believe that it is therefore lucky,  Messr  Moony, that I can embellish my sentences with as much sophistication as can be mustered for my dear Lily flower."

Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance only once before shaking their heads in unison.

"Messr Prongs just isn't quite as cultured as we are, is he, Moony?"

"Nah, it seems not."

Another glance was exchanged between the two before they collapsed into laughter, the puzzle forgotten where it was tucked into Remus' front pocket.

*  *  *

"I'm gonna charm her robes bright pink," Sirius'  lips were almost touching  Remus' ear as he spoke.

Remus batted at him to send him away, shooting  an angry look at him when Professor McGonagall paused her teaching.

He sensed Sirius decide that he was going to charm her robes at one point during the class, and he deftly leaned over and stole the dark wand, placing it safely out of his reach in the pocket on the other side of his robe. Sure enough, a minute later the dark-haired boy reached for his wand, only to close his fist on air.

"Remus, give me back my wand," Sirius' voice was still low, but they held none of the laughter they had before.

"Don't charm her robes pink, I actually like this class."

"So do I! Everyone knows I love Minnie!" Sirius raised his voice for the second statement , enough for the whole class to hear, but clearly the Professor was making a point of ignoring him.

Remus sighed, and reluctantly passed the wand back under the desk, only to sigh again when Sirius cast a charm on one of the unused pieces of chalk to begin writing on the board. It was only when the chalk was halfway through writing 'Snape is a wanker', having successfully gotten away with a 'Moony is a git', that the stern professor spun around, eyes flashing behind her square glasses.

"Mister Black, perhaps you enjoy completing detention during your free time," she said cooly, although it was clear from her expression that Sirius was in  the eye of the storm, surrounded by anger on either side.

"She does the sophisticated language thing better than you," Remus muttered to Sirius, leading to him laughing an exaggerated amount and landing the werewolf in detention as well.

"Thanks for that," Remus growled through gritted teeth as they left the classroom, much to Sirius' amusement.

"Welcome,  Moony !"

"Padfoot, you better come with me to  Hogsmead  after this one, if I never hear James or Lily complain about each other it'll be too soon."

"You think you can arrange for us to hang out? Lily, you and I, I mean. I have a bet with Prongs that I can hold a conversation with her without being hexed."

"I can definitely try, although I will probably have to lie on your behalf. You know how I feel about lying."

"Yeah, I know you don't like lying, and I can't blame you with your furry little problem and all, but this is a bet with PRONGS we're talking about, not a bet with just anyone. I want to see the blood drain from his face as he  realises  he made the biggest mistake challenging me to talk to a girl – all the girls love me."

"Keep dreaming. But I'll try."

"THANKS MOONY! YOU'RE THE BEST!" 

*  *  *

"Hey, Lily?"

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to  raid Honeydukes again?" Remus asked as he flicked to a new page in his book.

"The other girls and I were thinking of stopping there anyway. You could join us," Lily didn't look up as she replied, and Remus hid a small grin behind his book.

"And suffer through all the estrogen? Can I at least bring some extra testosterone with me?"

Lily finally looked up from her book, intelligent green eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Please tell me James didn't try to put you up to this," she half hissed, and Remus let out a bark of laughter.

"No way, I wouldn't let him manipulate me like that."

"That's fine then. I'll see you tomorrow, then? I think I'm going to head up."

"See you," he replied before settling back against the back of his chair, only to be assaulted by a boy that smelled  too much like dog at that particular moment for Remus' liking.

"I knew I could count on you!" He exclaimed, and Remus just shook his head, shoving him off.

"I think you and Prongs have a death wish and are dragging me down with you."

"Of course we are! That's what mates are for!"

Remus rolled his eyes and carefully balanced the book he had been reading on the armrest of the chair before turning and tackling the other boy to the floor and easily pinning him to the ground. An odd look crossed Sirius' face for a second – so quickly that Remus would have missed it if he hadn't grown up having to stay perceptive, but it had definitely been there, even if now it was replaced by a brilliant smile.

"I will kick your ass one day," Sirius insisted as Remus let him go, but the dark-haired boy didn't move, just stretched out and yawned.

The werewolf found himself looking away, schooling his face to perfect calm. He stood up, still avoiding looking at Sirius as he picked up his book and sat back down, flipping open to his last page.

"What're you reading?" Sirius asked eventually, and Remus looked  over the top of his book  at his friend, raising his eyebrow slightly.

"Why do you ask?"

"I dunno, you're always reading that book. Thought I might as well find out why."

Remus blinked once, watching the older boy with a healthy amount of suspicion, but he decided to reply anyway.

"It's called the Hobbit. It's about a hobbit – odd creatures of habit – who is unwillingly forced to take part in  a great adventure with a party of dwarves and a wizard. It's a bit funny to read because Muggles are so clueless about the truth, but it's a good read anyway."

Sirius got up from where he was lying in the middle of the common room and sat down on the armrest next to Remus, leaning over so he could rest his chin comfortably on the taller boy's head.

"Sounds interesting," he muttered, the movement causing his  chin to dig into the lighter-haired boy's skull.

"I can lend you a copy, if you want," Remus replied, beginning to give up on reading while the other boy was there, but when he put the book down on the armrest Sirius picked it up, flipped to the first page and  knuckled down against the other boy's shoulder, reading .

"I would love to live in Bilbo's hobbit-hole," Sirius said, breaking the silence that had descended on them.

"I've often wished I did."

Sirius yawned and went to dog ear the page he was up to, only to get slapped away by Remus, followed by  a vaguely threatening look and a warning not to ruin his precious books. He quickly handed the book over to the werewolf, who opened it to the last page he had read without even blinking and continued reading. The dark haired boy stood up and stretched before leaving the common room.

*  *  *

"You brought Sirius?! Of all people?!" Lily's shriek made even Remus wince.

"He'll behave," Remus replied calmly, ignoring the look Sirius sent him.

"I'm not five, you know, I'm right here."

"Just so you know, I refuse to talk to him."

"That's fair, I try to avoid talking to him as well," Remus teased, only to get punched lightly in the shoulder by the black-haired boy.

"As I said. Right here. Also, I have a bet with James I intend to win, so don't worry about me."

Lily turned to stare at Sirius, her face starting to turn red.

"You dragged me into-" she began, her voice deadly, but Sirius quickly cut her off.

"You and Remus like talking about books, right? I recently finished the Hobbit. Interesting  read, Moony , if a bit slow at times."

Remus shot him a warning look at the use of his nickname, but when he spoke it was only to ask when he had managed to finish the book.

"You were all asleep and I was bored. I stole it from your trunk."

"I thought I told you to stay out of my stuff."

Sirius shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets and leaning back slightly, as if he was looking for a wall to pose against. In the mean time, Lily was staring at the shorter boy, clearly not believing what he had said .

"You actually read the Hobbit."

"Yes, I read the book where a hobbit – an odd creature of habit – acts as a thief and steals from a dragon in a mountain and a  gollum  – the second feat leaving him a ring that turns him invisible."

Remus nudged Lily in the ribs and nodded to a group of girls who had just arrived, all Lily's friends. They stopped dead when they saw Sirius standing next to them, some looking suspicious, others looking hopeful, but the boy himself didn't seem to notice -  he was too busy answering Lily's interrogation on the plot of the Hobbit. Remus thought it ridiculous that every girl seemed to think Sirius was some sort of god. He may be nice-looking, but after smelling his feet once too often and putting up with his ego,  that image was ruined for the werewolf.

Remus shot a small smile at the five girls, waving them over and they soon joined them in the middle of  Hogsmead , sending their polite greetings to Remus and Sirius before dragging each other – and Lily – off  for what was clearly some sort of gossip.

"There's way too much estrogen here," Remus muttered as he followed the girls at a distance, feeling like he was following a turtle.

"You have never been more right," Sirius replied, grinning slightly.

Remus cringed at his wording, making the dark-haired boy laugh, although that laugh soon became a yawn.

"You probably should have slept more last night rather than read the Hobbit."

"I wanted to see what appealed so much to you about that book. You always read it when you're stressed out, or when you're expecting to be stressed out. Did you know that?"

Remus stumbled over his own feet in surprise at Sirius' perceptiveness. He knew that the boy was capable of moments of incredible insightfulness, but they never failed to take him by surprise, particularly when they came to him.

"I... identify a lot with the story, " Remus began explaining slowly, unsure why he was explaining something he had never spoken about before to the one person he probably shouldn't trust if his reputation was anything to go by.

Sirius looked over at him and caught his gaze, and Remus noticed once more the odd look on his friend's face. Remus was about to ask him what was wrong when the boy's facial expression changed, and he grabbed the werewolf's elbow, dragging him to the side outside of the girls' view.

" Full moon in three days."

"That's why you dragged me here instead of to Honeydukes?"

"No, this is why I dragged you here instead of Honeydukes," Sirius said, and then stood back and pointed his wand at a clump of snow right next to Lily and two of her friends, making it explode.

Remus couldn't help but laugh as the three girls got attacked by a flurry of snowflakes, but his laughter soon stopped when he saw a look he  recognized  on his friend's face.

"Sirius, whatever's wrong, please tell me."

"I probably w on 't be able to come to this full moon."

Remus stared at him, his face impassive despite the hurt of betrayal he felt at his words. Sirius had never missed one of his transformations since he became an animagus. Peter had many times, and James had a few, but Sirius not once.

"Moony, you know that if I could be there I would, but Minnie  decided I needed more detention. She said it won't end till late even though it's a school night."

Remus shrugged, ignoring his sense of betrayal. It wasn't Sirius' fault the Professor had given him more detention.  _Yes it is_ ,  a little voice in the back of his head insisted, but he refused to let it get to him.

"That's fine. Wormtail and Prongs will be there with me, they can make sure I don't hurt anyone."

"What about if you hurt yourself, though?"

"Sirius, I'll be fine. Come on, lets go get some chocolate, and we can stop at Zonko's on the way back so you can restock your stash."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full moon is next chapter! Sorry this seems kind of all over the place, this was mainly just trying to establish their relationship at the moment and set them up for future events.
> 
> Again, if you liked it, please leave a comment or kudos to let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

Remus wasn't fine. Fine was worlds away, in a universe that didn't even exist in his imagination.

He was about to transform, and the one person he trusted the most to keep the wolf in line wasn't waiting in another room of the Shrieking Shack, ready to protect both him and anyone who could get hurt by him.

The full moon began rising, and a cry of pain ripped itself from his vocal chords as fire raced through his veins, and his bones began to expand and contract, changing into the wolf he hated so. He felt the animalistic anger and hatred tugging at his thoughts, and he fought it off as usual, but as always it took over, and soon he was no longer Remus – all that was left was the wolf.

James charged into the room, already a stag, and the wolf charged at him. He threw the wolf back against the wall with his horns, determined to keep the wolf inside the shack this night. The creature let out a howl as it hit the wall, but it was strong, and the rough throw merely dazed it for a few moments. Peter scrambled forwards, sprinting around the room for a while to distract the wolf from James, who had suffered a long scratch on his flank. James rested only for a few moments before leaping forwards again towards the snarling creature, horns at the ready.

Back at Hogwarts, Sirius heard the howl just as he picked up another trophy to polish, and almost dropped it. He tried to listen for any further indication of what was going on, almost changing into the dog to hear better, but the silence was unbroken. It wasn't until another howl, this time a lot louder and a lot more pained, that Sirius set down the trophy and the cloth, turning to look at Professor McGonagall, who had decided to sit in one corner of the trophy room and mark assignments.

"Professor, can I please be excused? I'm not feeling well," Sirius lied, keeping his tone carefully polite.

The stern woman looked up from her notes, glasses set almost on the edge of her nose. Piercing eyes met Sirius' grey ones, judging him for any possible fault.

"Your worry for your friend is admirable," she said, standing up.

Sirius watched her carefully, hoping that she wouldn't tell him that there was nothing he could do – not that she knew that he could help.

"Under these unusual circumstances, I will allow you to leave. Do not expect to be let off so easily next time."

Sirius could have hugged her, but he forced himself to thank her and leave the room with as much calmness as he could muster before sprinting to one of the secret passageways that would let him out of the castle.

He sprinted through it, changing into a dog as he ran. The wolf's snarls could soon be heard, and as Sirius bolted straight for the Shrieking Shack, he found he could also smell the blood from the wounds the wolf was inflicting on itself. He finally hurtled through the front door, leaping to the aid of the stag who had been about to get swiped by a massive paw. He nipped at the wolf's heels, enough to bring it's attention to him without actually hurting him.

The wolf tried to turn too quickly and fell over, slamming into the ground. It lay, unmoving, on the wooden floor, and Sirius cautiously padded over to the wolf, nudging one of the large paws to make sure it was actually unconscious. He turned away and was about to become human again when James suddenly leaped forwards, and Sirius turned just in time to see the wolf go hurtling to the other side of the room, definitely still awake. It let out a yelp of pain as it landed, flailing as it landed awkwardly, and Sirius took the chance to quickly sprint around the wolf, assessing all it's injuries – and nearly balking at the sight.

Scratches covered it's back and sides, a particularly nasty one bled profusely from it's leg. One of it's paws were bent weirdly, and Sirius correctly assumed that was the reason the wolf had yelped. The wolf began to pace again, limping though it was, and Sirius realised that the wolf was only going to injure itself – and, by extension, Remus – more if it kept this up.

Sirius easily dodged a massive paw and leaped onto the wolf's back, forcing it to crash into the floor again.  _Sorry Remus_ , he thought as the wolf stilled underneath his feet, out cold from both it's injuries and the rather hard fall.

The dog leaped off the now unconscious wolf, returning back to being human as Peter came out from a crack he had found to hide in.

"I thought you had detention with McGonagall," James said flatly once he, too, went back to being human.

"I was let out early. I came here as fast as I could."

"You weren't fast enough. The wolf was determined to injure itself tonight before you showed up. I had to throw it against a few walls to get it to stop, and Peter almost got eaten because he tried to cause a distraction."

Sirius did his best not to feel like he was to blame, deciding to take out his wand and do his best to heal James. Peter rarely suffered any injuries, he was usually too small to get in the way, but Sirius had sustained an impressive number of scratches, and James had even more because he was larger.

" _Episkey_ ," Sirius muttered, pointing his wand at James.

James looked uncomfortable for a moment, but he gave the dark-haired boy a small nod of thanks before settling down on a couch, watching the wolf carefully. Sirius went back to being a dog, lying comfortably against the wolf to notify him if it decided to get up. This wasn't at all an unusual position for them – the wolf knocked itself out a surprising amount for a creature so hard to knock out by others – and Sirius was, after all, the best at defending his friends from the wolf, as well as keeping it occupied.

It wasn't long before he felt the wolf begin twitching and convulsing, and Sirius quickly leaped to his feet, barked at James twice, at Peter multiple times and at the wolf once before sprinting into the other room, knowing Remus wouldn't appreciate it if they were still in the same room while he transformed.

The cries of pain as his transformation ended seemed, to Sirius' ears, worse than ever, and not for the first time he feared for the werewolf's life, but soon his voice, weak, tired and pained, but definitely his, told them they could come back. Sirius instantly barrelled back in, only to stop short when he saw the boy curled up on the floor, trembling but clearly asleep.

"How long till Pomfrey gets here?" Peter asked suddenly, and James left the room to check the tunnel, only to sprint back up.

"Guys, she's already here, we got to run."

Sirius cast one last glance at the boy who had suffered so much - _because of me_ , he found himself thinking - but he soon turned to join the other two Marauders as they sprinted back to Hogsmead, breaking into Honeyduke's and sprinting through the passage, stopping just before they left the passage to throw on James' Invisibility cloak before walking as quickly as they could back to their dorm.

Peter instantly fell asleep, no questions asked, but both James and Sirius stayed awake, not caring that school started in two hours.

"Tonight was really bad," James said quietly, and Sirius could only nod in reply.

James decided not to talk anymore, which suited Sirius, who was too worried to care about anything other than Remus' health, perfectly fine. They both sat together, awake, until they heard the other students moving around, at which point James went to shake Peter back to life while Sirius instantly left the room, on a direct path to the hospital.

"No. No way. You aren't coming in here. Get out, he needs to rest."

"Good to see you too, Madam," Sirius replied as gallantly as he could manage, worried as he was.

"Don't you 'Madam' me. Your reputation precedes you – and even if it didn't, I have plenty of proof that you aren't fit to be within a kilometer of any hospital."

"Please, I just want to see him. I swear I won't wake him up or anything, I just want to see him."

The matron looked at him, her face stern, but finally she gave in, informing him that he had five minutes.

Sirius instantly walked over to Remus' bedside, sitting down at his side and carefully watching him for any reaction, but the boy was fast asleep, already looking a deal better than he had been in the Shack. However, one of his legs hung off the bed as usual, and the dark-haired boy could still see the deep scratch that the wolf had given him, and there was an oddly-shaped lump where his left foot was. Sirius willed himself to stay awake, but he found his eyelids drooping lower and lower, and eventually he gave up, leaning his head against the hospital bed as he fell asleep.

Pomfrey came back moments later, getting ready to shoo him off, but when she caught sight of him sleeping she simply walked away, deciding against waking him up. James and Peter came around during their breaks, but they soon left as well, not wanting to wake either of them up. It was only later, when everyone else was busy eating dinner, that Remus first stirred.

The werewolf quickly ran an assessment of the pain he could feel and did his best to identify what his injuries were before opening his eyes to the harsh, hospital lights. He slowly shifted in the bed, letting out a grunt at the pain. The movement woke Sirius, who only took a second to snap out of a sleepy haze.

"Sirius? What're you doing here?" Remus' voice was thick with sleep and pain, and he held back another grunt of pain as the dark-haired boy wrapped his arms around the lighter-haired boy.

"You're ok. I was so worried... You looked so bad..."

"Calm down, Padfoot," Remus replied as he returned the embrace, smiling slightly at the nickname despite the fact that every movement he made sent pain searing through him.

Sirius found himself relaxing into the werewolf's arms, and even enjoying the hug when Pomfrey came back.

"Black, let go of my patient and leave. You're lucky you got away with staying here as long as you did, now scram. If you hurry you might still get some dinner."

Sirius quickly let go of Remus, feeling like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar, and turned to argue with the matron, but he caught the werewolf's warning look and muttered a quiet goodbye to Remus before leaving the hospital wing and walking out into the great hall, where he was instantly assaulted by James.

"I thought Pomfrey was going to kill you – she kept glaring every single time she walked past. And Peter here talked me into not waking you up. I should have woken you up and dragged you out of there myself!"

"James-"

"You know, there's no way she's letting you back in there now – not after you fell asleep on her favourite patient."

"James-"

"I swear, Padfoot, what were you thinking-"

"JAMES POTTER!" His tirade was interrupted as an extremely angry redhead came marching down the length of the Gryffindor table, looking ready to kill.

"Lily dear, I was hoping for a better reaction to charmed fireworks."

"Charmed fireworks?!" Lily screeched, and even James winced at the high-pitched frequency, "charmed to do what?! Spell out 'Lily, Lily, you're really pretty, why can't you see that you belong with me'?"

"I thought you liked poetry.'

If faces were tomatoes, Sirius would have thought she was overripe from the shade of red her face had become. In the blink of an eye the redhead had her wand out and was sending hexes at James, who quickly began running away from her, dodging hexes.

Sirius exchanged one look with Peter and they both burst into laughter, only to have to sprint away as Lily, who Sirius had decided long ago either had a freaky sense of hearing or a ridiculously over-developed sixth sense, charged back into the room and started trying to hex them for laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how many people have liked this random thing I came up with that I'm not even sure how it's going to end!  
> ... I should probably get onto that.  
> Anyway, thank you so much! I probably won't be able to post as frequently as I have been, this has been a bit of a 'get as much written as I possibly can while I still love the story', but I will do my best to keep the updates going around school.


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius rolled over in his bed for the hundredth time, sighing loudly as he tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in, as well as distract himself from his thoughts. He was almost succeeding, too, he had almost managed to take the light-haired werewolf who was still in the infirmary off his mind...

"Dammit," he cursed, rolling over again.

A pillow flew across the room, hitting him directly in the face, as well as a groan about needing sleep and Quidditch practice. _No wonder he's a brilliant chaser, the idiot can aim_ Sirius thought to himself as he finally decided to get out of bed.

He quietly padded over to James' trunk, nicked the Invisibility cloak and left the room, keeping the cloak wrapped tightly around him as he descended into the common room. To his surprise, it appeared that he wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping.

He slowly drew back, careful not to make too much noise as he removed the cloak from his shoulders and crept back into the common room, mentally preparing himself to be cursed by the typically angry redhead who was currently curled up on one end of a couch, her nose in a book although she didn't look like she was reading.

"Can't sleep?" Sirius asked as flippantly as he could manage, dropping onto the other end of the couch.

"Something like that," she replied, too tired to argue with him.

"Assuming you definitely don't want to talk to James' best friend, huh?"

"You assume correctly. I might not mind talking to Sirius, though."

He lifted an eyebrow and leaned back against the couch, putting his feet up on the table despite the half-hearted glare that she sent him, "talk to Sirius about what's keeping you up, then."

"It's nothing – well, no it's not, but it shouldn't mean anything."

Sirius watched her patiently, glad for the distraction from Remus.

"I've never been ashamed of my blood status, but... He called me a mudblood. Like a pureblood supremist..."

Sirius blinked once before leaning over and hugging her, understanding without words that she needed it.

"Snivellus-"

"His name is Severus."

"Fine. Snape had no right to call you that foul word. So what if you're muggleborn? You're a hundred times more than those pureblood fanatics. I mean, have you met my family?"

Lily smiled wryly, pulling away from him and leaning back against the couch.

"Look at me, complaining about being called a mudblood by a friend to a Black."

"Mother would have a fit if she knew I talked to you."

Lily laughed slightly, and Sirius did his best to smile although he was internally cringing. Talking about his family didn't get easier the more he did it, but he couldn't always avoid the topic, and the girl did look a bit happier.

"I think I'm going to go back to sleep. Thanks, Sirius."

"Anytime, Evans," Sirius winked at her as she stood up, stretching luxuriously before walking out the room, leaving him alone.

He leaned back against the couch, now with two things on his mind, fighting for his attention. Remus and his family screamed at each other in his mind until he finally decided to cover himself with James' cloak and leave the common room, padding through the hallways instinctively before stopping outside the hospital wing.

He gently pushed the doors open, careful not to make too much noise as he slipped through the door and shut it behind him, walking straight over to Remus' bedside and taking the boy's hand in his as he sat down in the chair next to him.

The light-haired boy shuffled slightly, and Sirius turned to look at his face hopefully.

"Moony?" He whispered, careful not to wake anyone else up.

"Pa'foo'? Wha- Wharrrya doen eeeer?"

In any other situation, Sirius would have laughed, but this wasn't any other situation. Even so, he found himself having to hide a smile and heavily berate himself for finding Remus' sleepy inquiry adorable.

"I couldn't sleep, decided to come check up on you."

"Thaswee'" the werewolf muttered, his eyes slowly fluttered back shut, and Sirius thought for a moment he had fallen back asleep when his eyes suddenly snapped back open, "Wharrya eer?"

Sirius let out a quiet chuckle, and without thinking kissed the sleepy werewolf's forehead.

"Go to sleep, Remus, you're drunk."

The boy didn't have to be told twice – he was asleep as soon as Sirius finished talking. The dark-haired boy grinned slightly to himself, as he watched Remus, only to realise what he had done.

"He won't remember..." Sirius muttered quietly to himself, staring at the hand he was holding almost fearfully.

He stood up, letting go of Remus' hand as he did his best not to wake the boy. With a final glance at the sleeping boy, he quickly covered himself in the Invisibility cloak before sprinting back to his room, chastising himself the whole way for being an idiot while praying to whoever was listening that Remus wouldn't remember.

*  *  *

"Mister Potter, Mister Black, you better have an excellent explanation as to why you are late," McGonagall demanded coolly, watching them both.

James opened his mouth, prepared to come up with some fancy excuse when Sirius cut in, saying that they had been with Remus which he knew from his detention was her one and only soft spot, although she was equally as strict on him as she was any of the other students.

"Make sure it doesn't happen again," the stern Professor replied, walking back to her desk and letting James and Sirius take their places.

Sirius thought James' eyes would fall out of his face when Lily waved to him from the seat diagonally in front, and Sirius saluted her as he sat down, letting James take the seat directly behind her.

_You want to tell me why exactly Lily waved at you? When did you guys get friendly?_

The note James past was full of suspicion, and even a hint of betrayal, and Sirius almost laughed at the accusation.

_Mate, we talked last night. There's no need to get jealous, she's all yours._

_What was she talking about?_

_Just Snivellus being a wanker. Honestly, what kind of a best mate would I be if I started hitting on your girl?_

James looked satisfied, although he shot another suspicious glance at the fiery redhead before settling down in his seat.

Sirius, in the meantime, willed time to go faster. Remus hadn't said anything about last night when he was released from Madam Pomfrey's clutches that morning (on strict instructions to rest in his own bed for the rest of the day – "Classes can wait for tomorrow!"), but he needed to make sure, and he didn’t want to ask when James could hear.

He slowly continued slumping against his desk as McGonagall droned on, explaining Conjuration spells or something similar, still worried and needing to corner the resting boy, although Sirius doubted the boy was actually resting. In fact, it wasn’t long before he had proof that the lycanthrope wasn’t resting. There was no mistaking the silky feel of the Invisibility Cloak, or the quiet scuffing of feet on the floor next to him, and there was even less mistaking the sudden weight that leaned against Sirius as the tired boy did his best to support himself against his friend.

“Hey, Moony,” Sirius muttered quietly, and an equally soft groan sounded right near his ear.

“What’re you doing in class?”

“I got bored,” the sheepish reply was quiet and subdued, and there was a quiet hesitation that alerted Sirius to the fact he had more he wanted to say.

“Anything else?”

“Actually, I was hoping to catch you and try to convince you to ditch History of Magic and-“

“Sounds great. Pomfrey will murder me if she finds you outside, though.”

“Let me deal with her if that happens. You’re really in?”

“I’d ditch History of Magic if Snivellus asked me to ditch with him, you should know that by now. I thought you wanted us to be more active in class though, Moony, isn’t this a bit counterproductive?”

“Fancy word, Padfoot, I’m impressed.”

“I think you’ll find I have a lot more fancy words up my-“

“Anything you’d like to share with the class, Black?” McGonagall’s stern voice cut through their hushed conversation, and Sirius quickly sent her an easy-going grin to cover for himself.

“Why, Minnie, I was just wondering if your beauty was acquired over the years or if you were born with it.”

James snorted on his other side, and a quiet chuckle sounded from under the Invisibility Cloak. The teacher rolled her eyes, looking like she would like to murder him, but instead she walked back to the front of the class, clearly deciding against pestering him for more information.

“So, I’ll meet you outside this classroom when the class ends?”

Sirius felt an odd twinge in his gut, and he found himself wondering once again how much of last night Remus remembered. If he truly delved deep into fantasy, he could still feel the boy’s soft, feather-y hair against his lips, their hands held awkwardly at their sides.

“-Pads. Padfoot. Sirius!”  Remus’ voice cut through his thoughts, and Sirius shifted slightly to look at the werewolf as best he could through James’ cloak.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Hey, how did you sleep last night? I was going to ask this morning but you were really badly zoned out.”

“I slept fine, no thanks to you. See you after class, Padfoot.”

Clearly Remus wasn’t quite as graceful as he normally was in light of the full moon, because Sirius heard him stumble a few times, but the boy managed to leave the classroom without any hassle from McGonagall, even though she sent a few knowing looks in the direction of the open door. The dark-haired boy decided she looked positively Dumbledore-ish at that particular moment.

“Hey, what do you think about Dumbledore and Minnie?” Sirius asked, leaning over to whisper in James’ ear.

A devilish grin spread across his face, and when the unruly-haired boy turned to look at him there was a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“I think they’ve already found a few broom cupboards. Hey, was that Moony?”

“Yeah, he decided to sneak into class. Hey, you don’t mind going to History of Magic with Peter, do you? I have an idea I need to test.”

It was technically correct, although the idea might not be exactly what James thinks it is. Sirius was intent on trying to find out how much Remus remembered of last night, and what it meant – it couldn’t have met anything, could it? He was just reading into something he had done on impulse, it couldn’t be anything else. It was an impulsive action because Remus was in a bad position. Only he had never felt the impulse to kiss _James_ on the forehead when _he_ got injured, and Prongs got injured a lot.

James had been trying to get his attention as his mind whirled, but Sirius paid him no mind, and didn’t say anything to him as he sprinted out the door at the end of the lesson, getting grabbed by the elbow and dragged outside by an invisible Remus the second he came out of the room.

“Rem, there’s the greenhouses that way, we’ll be caught.”

Remus took off the cloak and smiled at the dark haired boy, having to squint a little in the sun. Sirius couldn’t help but stare at how battered he looked, even with the sunlight making him glow like an angel.

“I’m flattered, by the way.”

“What?”

“You called me Rem. Nicknames are a sign of affection, and you just gave me one I have never actually heard used about me, so… I’m flattered.”

Sirius desperately wished his face to calm, but Remus was perceptive and didn’t miss the slight coloring of his cheeks.

“I remember everything, by the way. I know you’ve probably been wondering. It’s hazy, but I do remember.”

Sirius sighed and sat down in the grass and snow at his feet, doing his best to hide his face.

“I don’t know what it was. Can we please just… Forget it?”

Remus was silent for a second, hesitating and considering whether he was saying too much about himself.

“What if I don’t want to forget it?” he asked quietly, carefully sitting down next to the dark-haired boy in the cold mixture, though neither boy made an effort to move to somewhere more comfortable and less covered in snow.

He found himself fiddling with a few blades of grass, trying to hide his awkwardness with intense interest in the blades, ignoring the snow that numbed his fingertips.

“I’m not sure I want to forget it, either,” Sirius’ voice was smaller, if that was possible.

Remus dropped a few of the blades of grass he had been fiddling with, only to pick them up again and roll them in his fingers and drop them again.

“Do you like me?”

“Obviously, you’re a great friend.”

“Padfoot, I’m being serious.”

“Actually-“

“If the next words out of your mouth include ‘I’ and ‘am’ and ‘Sirius’, you are going to regret it.”

Sirius chuckled quietly, turning to look at the werewolf out of the corner of his eye and smiling at the boy. Remus was still intent on fiddling with the blades of grass, and he didn’t seem to ever want to look away. He stretched out a hand nervously to touch the lighter-haired boy’s wrist, running light fingers down the vein in his hand until he reached fingers which still hadn’t stopped fiddling with the grass, although they were now shaking ever so slightly.

“I don’t know if I like you. I’m more confused by you than like you, I think.”

“I’m not sure either.”

Remus turned his hand so he could thread his fingers through Sirius’, trying to conceal a shaky breath.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Forward, are we now, Moony?” Sirius did his best to conceal his nervousness with a light laugh and a tease, earning him a light thwack on the arm.

“Idiot.”

“Just to clarify, though, do you actually want to kiss me or do you want to figure out if you like me?”

“Who’s forward now, eh, Padfoot?”

Sirius rolled his eyes in response, and Remus laughed despite the tension in the air.

“So, which one is it?”

“A bit of both?”

“Then yes, my dearest Moony, you may kiss me if you so wish, although I daresay as far as first kisses go, you could do much worse than kiss me.”

Remus glared at him, sending the dark-haired boy into a fit of bark-like laughter.

“First kisses are social constructs and shouldn’t exist,” Remus muttered, earning him an odd look from Sirius.

The two boys sat there, looking at each other apprehensively, waiting for something to happen.

“So? You going to kiss me?”

“Right, uh… I’ll just…” Remus’ ears started turning pink with embarrassment as he tried to turn so he was facing Sirius, carefully leaning forwards and trying to put both hands on the other boy’s face like muggle movies seemed to always tell you to do, but the position was uncomfortable, and the werewolf moved his hands so they were holding onto Sirius’ shoulders instead, still shifting uncomfortably. Sirius stretched his legs out in the grass and snow, and Remus fell forwards against the boy’s chest, and he took a big gulp before pulling back so he was staring into the stormy grey eyes of the eldest Black.

“You don’t have to if you’re getting this nervous, Rem.”

“I just… Don’t know what to do with myself,” Remus muttered under his breath, his cheeks beginning to turn a healthy shade of pink that matched his ears.

In a second Remus was flipped and Sirius’ hands were wrapped around his waist as he leaned forward, foreheads pressed together as Remus found himself wrapping his arm around the other boy’s neck. A small part of his brain took note of the position for future reference.

“How’s this?” Sirius’ voice was low and husky, sending a shiver he struggled to hide down his spine.

Remus chose not to reply with words, tilting his head so that their lips touched and freezing, still not sure what to do. It was only when Sirius’ lips gently nudged his that he started to understand how kissing worked. It was messy and sloppy, and the werewolf found himself feeling sorry for Sirius, who was a great kisser in his opinion, but when he pulled away for air he found the other boy watching him, a mixture of awe and confusion in his light eyes, which was exactly how Remus felt. He still couldn’t decide if he liked Sirius or not, he needed longer to process his feelings calmly and rationally, but after that kiss he had a hunch he knew the dark-haired boy’s answer, and he had a hunch his own answer would be very similar.

“So…?” Remus asked, only to find his awkwardness be replaced with alarm as the shorter boy untangled himself from the werewolf’s arms and sprint away from him, back into the castle, leaving him twice as confused and wondering what was going through his friend’s mind – if he could still call Sirius his friend at all after that kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished the chapter :) Hope you guys like it! You're all amazing, you know that?! I never expected to get this much positive feedback!


	5. Chapter 5

“I’m not gay,” Remus said, gritting his teeth against the word.

“You kissed me, pretty sure that makes you gay.”

“Bisexuality exists.”

“Only you have already admitted to never actually liking girls. You’re gay.”

“I’m not gay. Why do I have to be gay if I kissed you?! Why can’t I just be Remus for once? It’s always with the labels – they’re always there. Werewolf, strange kid, tired kid. Now I’m going to be the gay kid. I’m just Remus!”

“Moony, come back-“

“No, Padfoot! You’re an arrogant, assuming, egotistical prick. I’m leaving.”

Remus stormed out the abandoned classroom he had been pushed into by Sirius. This was the third time they had argued because of the ‘incident’, as the werewolf was starting to call their shared kiss. He could have cried with frustration. The night after the incident Sirius had quietly apologized for freaking out, but when Remus asked for an answer to his question, the dark-haired boy refused to provide him with one – fight number one.

The second time they fought had been the morning after – Sirius had caught Remus talking to Lily about being confused (although he had made sure not to say why) and dragged him off under the pretense of pulling an excellent prank, demanding to know if the werewolf had said his name, and then asking why he didn’t talk to him about it. Remus coolly told him that Lily was a better listener than he was, and that ‘at least she doesn’t try to make everything about herself’, which he admitted he shouldn’t have said. Sirius had ended that fight by punching the wall hard, earning himself a trip to the hospital wing and being placed under the careful watch of Pomfrey for the rest of the morning.

It was now just before dinner, and this was not only the third time they talked alone, but the third time they had argued – about his own sexuality, no less! The boy was overstepping his limits, and yet Remus couldn’t get him out of his head. He felt like he was going crazy, loving and hating him at the same time. This boy was going to drive him up the wall before he could say ‘Sirius, calm down’.

Remus had been stomping angrily through the corridors of Hogwarts, not particularly paying attention to any of the other students until he suddenly ran into one, and felt his guts twist themselves into knots.

“Watch where you’re going, Lupin,” Snape hissed up at him, despite the fact that Remus towered over him.

Normally, he was seen as the rational, calm one, but he had no patience today – not with Sirius getting him so riled up.

“Well? Aren’t you going to move? Or are you really as limp as you look?”

Lupin sent him a glare, feeling violence stirring in the depths of his consciousness. He quickly suppressed the animalistic feelings, keeping his wolf carefully at bay.

“Good evening, Severus. The stars are particularly nice today, aren’t they?” he did his best to grin politely at the long-nosed boy, but he knew the look was ruined by the murder he felt, even if it wasn’t directed at the person in front of him.

“I thought I told you to move out of the way, Loony Lupin,” Snape’s voice had lowered dangerously, and suddenly a wand was in his hands, directly under the werewolf’s chin.

Remus hid his hurt at the name behind a calm exterior, doing his best to calm the wolf, who was now twice as insistent to achieve violence, by cautiously moving his hand to grip his own wand and slowly removing it from his pocket.

“Put your wand down, unless you want me to hex you into next year,” Remus threatened, starting to feel dizzy with the effort of keeping the wolf’s violence at bay.

“Big words for a boy not backed by his brilliant friends,” a voice sneered, and suddenly Remus was outnumbered as Dolohov and Regulus, Sirius’ brother, came out of the shadows to Snape’s aid, wands in their hands.

They started raising their wands higher, clearly about to perform a hex when a dark-haired shape barreled into both Dolohov and Snape, leaving Regulus standing tall, facing his older brother. Sirius drew his wand, coming to stand next to Remus, who had instantly turned his wand on Regulus the second the other two went down.

“Ah, brother, it’s been so long since I last saw you.”

Remus could hear the pain in his voice, even as Regulus’ face twisted into anger.

“Blood-traitor,” he hissed, and Remus had to stop himself from leaping over and defending Sirius, knowing the older Black wouldn’t like it if he jumped to his aid, or if he hurt his brother.

“Regulus-“ Sirius began, but the younger brother only smiled sickly.

“Mother would be furious if she found me talking to a blood traitor like you,” were his only words before he disappeared, dragging Dolohov and Snape behind him, leaving them both standing alone in the hallway.

Remus instantly hugged the other boy, all arguments forgotten, and felt the dark-haired boy hug him back, clinging tightly to his waist. The light-haired boy carefully let go and took Sirius’ hand, carefully guiding him up moving stairs and through long corridors until they finally reached one of the secret tunnels they had found early on in their Hogwarts years, pulling him in and turning to face him.

“You ok?” the werewolf asked, carefully giving him some space.

“Yeah… Thanks.”

“What’re mates for?” Remus replied, shrugging.

Sirius leaned against the wall, staring at the floor. Remus was unused to seeing him look so defeated, and the urge to make him smile again wormed its way into his consciousness, but he had the feeling that the dark-haired boy needed to talk for now, not smile, and so he stood to the side, patiently waiting for him.

“I used to protect him, you know. He would hide in my room whenever there were thunderstorms or when our parents fought. We’d sit under the blankets with a lamp, and I’d make up adventures we’d have when we were older. He would also help me, sometimes. When mother threw a dinner party with a pureblood girl she wanted me to marry, he would make sure to sit across from me and would pull faces across the table, and we’d get into foot fights under the table. When I came back from first year and mother continuously tried to find reasons to punish me, he took the blame a lot to protect me from her, because now he was the perfect son and I was just the blood-traitor. I don’t… I don’t know what happened…”

Sirius covered his face with his hands, and Remus realized with a start his friend was crying. He quietly stepped forwards, taking the boy in his arms again and gently running his fingers through his hair in an effort to calm him. He instantly turned around, burying his face where Remus’ neck met his shoulder.

“I don’t know why I’m so surprised. Mother feeds him so much poison, it was really only a matter of time,” the bitterness in his voice stung, and Remus had no doubt that he was telling the truth.

Sirius pulled away, wiping his eyes before sending the werewolf a watery smile.

“Sorry for getting your robes wet.”

“Its fine, Sirius, as long as you’re ok.”

The dark-haired boy took a deep breath in before sending him another smile, a glint of mischievousness back in his eyes, making Remus’ heart beat way faster than he thought was healthy.

The boy darted forwards, hugging the light-haired boy close and kissing his cheek before sprinting away without saying a word.

*  *  *

Sirius sprinted into the hall for dinner, almost bowling over James in his rush to get to the table. He had had an excellent idea for a prank Moony would approve of, and he had spent the last hour developing his ideas, not bothering to talk to anyone while he did so.

He skidded to a stop in front of his seat and pretty much bounced into it, barely able to contain his excitement.

“Remusremusremusremusremusremu-“

“Siriussiriussiriussiriussiriussirius,” Remus didn’t look up from his book as he replied in kind, although an amused smile crossed his face.

“Get your nose out of that book, I have an idea.”

“Does it involve anything illegal?”

“I thought that was a given already.”

Remus sighed, still not looking up from his book when suddenly it slammed shut in his face, and Sirius snatched it before he could even complain.

“What’s your great plan, then, Siri?”

Sirius hid his smile at the nickname, choosing instead to shove a rather large piece of potato roast in his mouth and, in turn, also avoiding answering Remus, who was looking vaguely annoyed.

“We are going to prank Evans,” Sirius finally said, grinning from ear to ear.

James was instantly on board, but Remus watched him carefully.

“And what do you plan to do to her?”

“Well, you know how Jamesie here isn’t having a lot of luck getting a certain Lily flower to go out with him?”

“Fairly sure everyone in the school knows about it.”

“Shut up, Remus. Sirius, stop laughing,” James instantly tried to regain his balance within the group of friends.

“Hey, where’s Peter?”

“Said something about tutoring in Charms. What’s your plan, Sirius?” James was sounding more and more curious about what Sirius was intending, and didn’t appear to care all that much about the rat’s whereabouts.

“Well…”

*  *  *

“She’s coming. Remus, go distract her.”

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” the werewolf muttered before walking out from within James’ cloak and around the sofa, ‘accidentally’ bumping into her.

“Oh, hi Remus.” Lily asked, twirling strands of her hair in her fingers thoughtfully.

“Hey, Lily. What’s up?”

“Nothing, was just heading to the library to finish the essay for Defence. How far have you gotten?”

“Not very, I still have two feet of parchment to write.”

“It’s due tomorrow!”

“I know, I should probably join you in the library.”

“Did you want me to wait for you while you go get your essay?”

“Sure. I’ll be interested in hearing what you thought about werewolves from the readings,” Remus replied, careful to show only a casual interest in the topic as he walked up the stairs to his own

The quiet bark of a wolf signaled that James and Sirius were ready, and Remus quickly sprinted up the stairs before coming back down with an armful of parchments, as well as his ink and a quill.

“Got everything?” Lily asked as he came down the stairs, and he nodded, sending her an easy smile as they started walking to the library, both clutching pieces of parchment.

Remus, as he walked past the place the two boys were hidden, made sure to lightly bump them, telling them he was ready for the prank to start. He heard a quiet sound of glee come from Sirius, which he hid by coughing rather loudly. It wasn’t until they were on the other side of the hallway that something happened.

Peeves, who had sided with the Marauders a few times to cause chaos, appeared in the hallway, blocking their path as he pelted a chandelier above them with pots and pans filched from the kitchens. Lily, who wisely avoided the poltergeist as often as she could, turned around, beginning to head back the other way to take a different path to the library before stopping short.

While Peeves had gotten busy distracting her, Sirius and James had left a long trail of lily petals, courtesy of James’ transfiguration, as they ran away from the scene. Lily instantly flushed red, but she followed the trail even so, while Remus trailed after her, keeping his hand on his wand – partly to reassure her he would protect her, partly so he could perform the next part of the prank.

The trail of petals led them out of the castle, stopping at the very edge of a clearing used for Care of Magical Creatures. A large, ugly, transfigured pumpkin stood at the end of the trail, courtesy of Peter’s transfiguration skills, although Lily wasn’t aware of this. Remus quietly muttered the spell Sirius had invented to animate it, and soon it was dancing around the clearing, singing about ‘the beautiful Lily flower’ in James’ loud voice, but when both James and Sirius walked out of the bushes to take the credit for the prank, Remus and Sirius rounded on James, pointing their wands directly at him and together yelling two very different hexes – one to change the colour of his robes, the second to immobilise him. Remus then forced the petals to surround both the trapped boy and Lily, while Sirius cast a sticking charm to Lily’s shoes in the confusion.

Remus and Sirius instantly sprinted away, using the petals as their cover as they burst back into the castle, laughing harder than they should be and earning them a puzzled smile from Professor Flitwick, but as they ran up the stairs, Remus couldn’t help but think that maybe he and Sirius would get through this alright, but there was a quiet nagging feeling in his mind that he still had to figure out his own feelings for the impulsive boy, and that Sirius probably needed that extra time as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all of you who are reading this story! :)


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey, Rem?”

“What is it, Sirius?”

“I think I might be gay, even if you aren’t.”

Sirius watched apprehensively as the light-haired boy set his book down on his lap, placing a bookmark to mark the page and holding the cover carefully shut. The motion appeared deliberately slow, as if Remus needed some time to think before he replied.

“I see.”

It was another of his escapism tactics, and Sirius wasn’t about to let him get away with it.

“You don’t mind, do you?”

“Sirius, I’ve kissed you, I’m fairly sure I don’t mind,” Remus replied, and the dark-haired boy could almost see the wheels turning in his mind.

“I wish you would stop reminding me of that.”

“It happened, it’s over. No point trying to avoid it.”

“That’s it, Rem, I don’t want it to be over. Dammit Moony, you frustrate me so much, but I don’t want it to be over.”

Sirius stopped himself from continuing his rant knowing the werewolf wouldn’t appreciate it, deciding instead to pace around the room like he was being chased by Filch himself. He could feel Remus’ eyes on him, quietly calculating his next move, but when a hand grabbed his wrist and almost aggressively spun him around, he jumped, and found himself almost scared when he faced the werewolf he had come to realise he had feelings for.

“Remus-“

“Did you mean it?”

“What?”

“That you don’t want it to be over.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Hundreds of times.”

“Have I ever lied to you about something important?”

Remus paused, but he was still holding on to Sirius’ wrist, and his strong grip was beginning to hurt a little.

“No, I don’t think you have.”

“Then why would I lie about this?”

Remus didn’t say a word, just watched him with blue eyes, not blinking when Sirius tried to retrieve his hand, or as he let go of the wrist he had been holding on to. His eyes became unfocused, and clearly he was thinking hard, because it took the dark-haired boy three tries to get his attention back, and the instant he managed regret raced across the werewolf’s face, and he grabbed Sirius’ wrist and brought it up into his line of sight, his hands gentler as long, elegant fingers ran over the now slightly bruised area.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Remus’ voice was quiet as he let go of Sirius’ arm and turned around, going back to sit on his bed after picking his book up off the floor.

The silence that followed was thick, even with Remus reading, and Sirius couldn’t stop himself from breaking it in any way he possibly could.

“Rem?”

“What is it?”

“You looked like you were going to say something…?” Sirius knew he probably shouldn’t be prodding the boy, but he hadn’t looked up from his book since he had sat down, and the shorter boy was starting to get worried about his friend – if he could still call him that. People weren’t meant to stew over things in their minds.

Remus sent him a small, sad smile that didn’t reach his eyes before looking back down at his book, and Sirius understood that he was avoiding talking about things, as usual. One day, he decided, he would finally manage to gain the werewolf’s trust completely, and on that day he would send his parents a piece of his mind about their insistence on him blending in to society because of his condition.

“Come on, Rem, you can tell me anything,” Sirius tried, sitting down on the far end of the bed and leaning against the bedpost, leaning his arms behind his head in an attempt to be casual. He sent the light-haired boy his signature smile, flipping his hair as he did so in an attempt to get the other boy laughing.

Instead, he received another smile, a hint of sadness still present, but this smile had more substance, and Sirius found himself feeling pride at the smile.

“What are we, girls at a sleep over?”

“That is definitely what we are. Come on, Moony, it’s just us girls! Tell Sirius what’s wrong!”

Remus laughed, and Sirius grinned at the taller boy, leaning over to rest on his shoulder despite the position making him have to stretch awkwardly.

“I had to make sure you weren’t lying,” the werewolf said quietly after a second’s hesitation.

“What does it matter to you?”

Remus took a deep breath in, starting to mentally prepare himself for his next statement, but he let the words slip out before he could hesitate, knowing he would never say them if he did not now.

“I’m not sure I want it to end either.”

Sirius felt more than saw Remus tense up slightly.

“I sense there’s a ‘but’.”

“But I can’t let it continue, even if I want it to. It’s too dangerous, I don’t know if I can control the wolf and be with you, and I won’t see you get hurt because of me again.”

Sirius looked at him only once before tackling him down against the bed, not caring that there was a book now jammed against his gut.

“You’re a self-sacrificing idiot, you know that?”

Remus sent him a look somewhere between confused, annoyed and amused, and Sirius couldn’t resist kissing his nose while the boy was unable to run away, a mischievous grin flickering across his face.

“I didn’t know the wolf bothered you even when it wasn’t full-moon time,” Sirius began, hushing Remus when he tried to speak.

“No, I’m not finished. I don’t care about your wolf – we can work through that together. And I don’t care about getting hurt in the meantime. And before you spout some excuse about not being able to trust yourself or something, just think about it. You’re fifteen, Rem, you shouldn’t be worrying about whether you’ll hurt people or not, you should be able to do whatever you want!”

The werewolf was so silent that Sirius started worrying that he had said the wrong thing, but all of it melted away when a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders and lips met his for a moment that could have lasted a lifetime.

“Okay.”

“What?”

“Just okay.”

“Okay you’ll go out with me or okay I still don’t agree?”

The werewolf smiled at him, mischief making his eyes sparkle in the dim lighting of the room. He leaned upwards slowly, almost torturously, towards the dark-haired boy’s ear until his lips were almost touching the tip of Sirius’ earlobe.

“Okay.”

The quiet word sent a shudder down the shorter boy’s spine, and Sirius turned to look at Remus, trying to make sense of him, when the same pair of lips that had been at his earlobe a second ago met his own with a silent confidence that was so different to the first time they had kissed, lips lingering for a second longer, driving Sirius’ heart into a frenzy as the other boy pulled away.

“O-Okay,” Sirius’s voice sounded as hazy as his mind, and Remus grinned with accomplishment, although the oldest Black only understood what the accomplishment was when Remus asked if he had finally found out how to make him shut up.

“Shut up, Moony.”

“Make me.”

Sirius had heard the response a thousand times from the light-haired boy, having picked it up from him in the first place, but suddenly it sounded a lot less innocent, and Sirius had to banish unwanted thoughts from his mind.

“Maybe later,” he replied, winking at Remus, only to get a pillow thrown in his face.

Sirius fell backwards dramatically, yelling out that he’s been hit, earning him another pillow in the face.

When the third pillow came flying, the oldest Black was ready for it, and he caught it without even blinking before throwing it back at the werewolf. Remus rolled off his bed onto the floor, standing up and snatching a pillow from James’ bed to throw back at him, only to have Sirius charge at him holding a pillow, knocking him over backwards onto the floor. Sirius sat squarely on the other boy’s chest, pressing the pillow over Remus’ mouth as if to choke him.

It was in that position that James found them, looking like his Quidditch team had just won.

“Padfoot, how’d you do it?! He looks like he’s actually having fun!”

Sirius turned to grin at him, momentarily forgetting to smother Remus with a pillow, allowing the taller and much stronger boy to easily flip them over until he was the one trying to press a pillow to Sirius’ face, not the other way around.

“He was asking for it.”

Sirius let out a few muffled noises from under the pillow, making Remus laugh and lose control over the pillow. They both helped each other up, supporting each other as they laughed first at each other, then at James’ confused look.

“I’ll just leave you crazies to it and start my assignment, then.”

“When is it due?”

“Tomorrow, I think. Yeah, tomorrow.”

“You should have started it sooner.”

“Thanks, mother Moony, I definitely have not considered that possibility.”

“Prongs you big oaf, when did you learn all these big words?”

“Padfoot you great lump, you should know that I am proficient in the English language. And am a bit desperate to impress Lily. But it’s mainly that I’m proficient in the English language.”

James sent them both a grin before running down to the common room, probably to do everything but his assignment.

Remus sat back down on his bed, leaning his head on Sirius’ shoulder when he sat down next to him. Sirius quietly twinned their fingers, deciding he liked holding hands a whole lot more this way, particularly when Remus gave his fingers a gentle squeeze.

“You never answered my question, you know.”

“Which question?”

“Will you go out with me?”

Remus pulled away, his head lifting from Sirius’ shoulder and his body inching away slightly, although he didn’t let go of his hand.

“I can’t, Siri…”

“Why not?”

“I just want to be Remus, for once. Just Remus. Not ‘the werewolf;, or ‘the gay one’. If we walk around like this all the time, I won’t be Remus anymore, I’ll be ‘the gay one’, just like if anyone else found out I was a werewolf I would be ‘the werewolf’, not Remus. I don’t want that.”

“Did you really think I’d force you to come out if you agreed to go out with me? Rem, even straight couples do the whole ‘secret boyfriend or girlfriend’ thing sometimes.”

“Yeah but…”

“No buts. I swear, we can sneak around, act like normal, for as long as you like, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to ever, and I’ll help you with your furry little problem and I’ll rip anyone’s throat out personally if they say anything negative about you. So, will you go out with me?”

“Sirius, you don’t underst-” Remus began, but the dark-haired boy had heard enough. He stood up and started to leave when a hand caught his wrist.

“I would love to go out with you, Padfoot, but are you sure you understand what kind of commitment you’re making? Your promises are insane, Sirius, no one in their right mind can really carry out all those promises.”

“Whoever said I was in my right mind? I’m a Black, I’ve never been in my right mind.”

Remus smiled slightly at the joke, although his eyes clearly conveyed his worry about the casual mention of Sirius’ family.

“Just promise me not to rip anyone’s throat out.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, that is definitely a yes.”

Sirius leaned over and crushed the light-haired boy against his chest, smiling into the top of his head even though the werewolf was taller than him. Remus tried to say something but only came out with a few small coughs into Sirius’ shirt, followed by a very muffled complaint about the dark-haired boy’s deodorant.

*  *  *

When James walked back into the room, Remus and Sirius were curled up together, one of Sirius’ arms looking like it was crushing the werewolf’s windpipe as he slept while one of Remus’ legs dangled off the edge of his bed , looking like it might just fall off if pulled on hard enough.

The boy couldn’t help but grin at the sight of the two boys – two out of his three best friends in the world – as he stretched out on his own bed, not bothering to pick up the pillow that had found its new home on the ground.

Peter walked in not a minute later, looking like he was slightly ruffled from whatever it was he had been doing that night. Unlike James, however, the short boy barely even glanced at the two sleeping boys before going to sleep, finding dreamland before his head had even hit the pillow.

Remus woke up at the noise Peter was making and adjusted Sirius into a position that was more comfortable for him, but he didn’t have the heart to try kicking his friend – _his boyfriend_ , he corrected – out of the bed, and instead simply drew the covers over them both and curled up again in his boyfriend’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I can't believe some of the replies I've been getting. Thank you so much to everyone who left a comment!  
> And thanks to all of you who have been reading this!


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